Do you have bulimia or hypoglycemia?

I had bulimia for years. I did not know about the hypoglycemia until many, many years later.

The bulimia lasted from my teenage years until I was about fifty. I didn’t even know it had a name. I just knew that I could eat what I wanted and then get rid of it. When I moved to Florida a nurse in Glenbeigh Hospital where I worked figured out I had hypoglycemia. I went through a five hour glucose tolerance test and the facts were there.

I had to do something to help myself but didn’t know what. Thanks to the internet I did research – lots of it. After reading a few articles I asked myself the question – Do I Want To Live As Long As I Can and if so – what the hell am I doing to my body.

As a psychologist and Eating Disorder specialist – yes, I helped other people but never helped myself – I moved to Florida and gained more weight. At almost 180 pounds I knew I had to change my lifestyle. And I did. I now weigh 125 lbs and everyone thinks I’m fifteen to twenty years younger than my age. You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you the same thing.

Do you have a problem with food. If so, I would like to help. Please go to my website ireneckessler.com and fill out the contact form. I will get back to you within twenty-four hours and we can talk about your problem, your journey from a psychological and food perspective.

I learned so much and would like to pass it on to you.

Meet Elisha

IMG_0513 - Copy

The story of a young girl who is ‘different.’

My name is Elisha. I know, I know. Please don’t yell like my parents do. It’s a boy’s name and I shouldn’t have it. My parents hate it. But it was given to me by a special friend I’ll tell you about later. It’s hard to talk about him and I’m having a difficult time with my parents and the villagers because of him. By the way, I live in Ancient Israel in a village with no name near Shechem in the Land of Caanan.

I’ve got to go. I’ll tell you more next time but my mother, my Ima is yelling for me to sweep the floor.

Bye for now. We’ll talk more when my parents are busy working.

I do not know me anymore.

I am not the person I was up until now. I seem to change constantly. Do you?

My childhood was difficult. I felt like I was born into the wrong family. I survived it, but not well.

I am a mixture of college girl, getting a Ph.D. forty something years later, was the mother of three, then the divorced mother of three at a time when divorce was a dirty word.

If I was forced to describe myself I would say: I am angular, twinkling, growing, sunny, dark, flowing, straight out, solid, and sensitive all according to the day and the hour of that day.

I am a mother, grandmother, great grandmother of a five month old boy, psychologist (the Ph.D),  singer, actor and director. I am all these things and more. But right now my main job is taking care of myself.

At the moment I am plumbing the depths of me to uncover long forgotten secrets. I know the answers are there in my memory bank, somewhere, elusive, hiding, afraid to show themselves. I survived it all so why is it so difficult to open it up, to bring it to the light.

Which part is needed at this very moment? The angular with its sharp points digging in? The sunny growing and twinkling to avert falling into a fit of depression? The flowing part that allows me to be creative?   

I never know which will show itself. Which will take over and dictate my day. And I –  have to deal with the one that appears and allows all the different emotions to present themselves.

Who will show up tomorrow?

Healthy Eating

Chili Con Carne, Chili, Cook, Lunch, Delicacies

My Granddaughter’s Vegetarian Chili 2-4 Servings (depending on how hungry you are.

I was not a fan of Chili. She made it for me and is now my Favorite!

15.6 oz. Red Kidney Beans drained

4 cups rice (yellow rice preferred).

8 oz Salsa (medium is best, but mild works well).

8 oz Heinz Chili Sauce

2 oz Cheddar Cheese shredded

Directions:

Cook rice

Cook Kidney beans

Combine on stove with chili sauce, salsa, and seasoning.  Pour into 8×8 pan and broil for 5 minutes.

Top with cheese, put back in oven and broil for five minutes or until cheese is fully melted.

Remove from oven and let it sit for 2 minutes. Stir in the melted cheese.

Let it cool so that it’s hot but not burning your tongue.

Enjoy

Healthy Eating

Black Bean Brownies Serves 9-12

INGREDIENTS:

1 can 15 ounce black beans, drained

1/2 cup cacao powder

4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted

3/4 cup raw honey

2 teaspoons Stevia

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 eggs

1/2 cup gluten-free flour

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/4 cup water

DIRECTIONS:

Blend all ingredients together

Grease 8×8 pan with coconut oil

Bake for 49 minutes at 350 degrees

Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes and Enjoy

chocolate treat yourself GIF by Fiber One

I love Sweets #2

Trying to get healthy was not as much a process as a finding my way, and it wasn’t easy. There was a lot of trial and error. I got a bunch of books from the library. Since this was quite a while ago the what to eat page would not be what you would find today, but they  gave me ideas.

I must admit I was not a complete beginner. I studied at a place where they discussed good eating. Back then, I decided to go vegetarian and cut back on starchy foods. I allowed myself three or four tablespoons of brown rice or pasta at lunch and dinner and was doing all right.

One morning I woke up with my body screaming for a hamburger. After much thought I decided to give in and went to a local restaurant with a great reputation. I was glad I did. Obviously my body needed something from that burger and it never happened again. I went from a size 12-14 to a size eight. That lasted one year.

I moved to Florida and it started all over again. I knew what to do but the anxiety of being there alone ( I had family but they were busy and there were no friends) and going into a brand new job made me feel deserted. Everything I did before went down the toilet and my weight increased and increased until it was close to one hundred eighty. I had to do something.

There is a picture of me at one of my mother’s parties and I when I saw it, I couldn’t believe how heavy I was. How much fat made the dress so tight that it creased all over and I almost couldn’t breathe. I went back to my original plan. This time I changed only one thing a month and started losing weight. Seeing the scale move down gave me the lift I needed to keep going.

I learned that I had to eat lots of vegetables to satisfy my hunger. That every time I had too much pizza or bread or pasta I gained back a few pounds. I lost ten pounds a year until I was down to one hundred forty. At a much slower rate I lost more and am now a happy one hundred twenty-five pounds. It feels like this is where I should have been all my life.

Happy because I feel like I’m in the right body. Have energy. Feel well. It’s not the number on the scale but the knowledge that both my body and I feel like we belong where we are.      If you are having problems with food let me know. Eating Disorders was my specialty.

I love Sweets

From the time I was young I loved sweets. It continued until I was in my fifties. I had bulimia and didn’t know it. If you don’t know what that is, it’s the process of overeating and then getting rid of the food. There are a number of ways to do that. Some go on the treadmill or run for hours and hour, usually at home so no one will see. Others use laxatives. That was my choice.

On top of that I had hypoglycemia and didn’t know it. That is the opposite of diabetes – low blood sugar. Much easier to handle than diabetes but you still have to work at eating the right foods. The nurse where I worked did a five hour glucose tolerance test. She gave me a something to drink and I laid on the table while they took blood every five hours. It was excruciating. It came from eating sweets.

The problem started after my brother was born and I had to baby-sit him. I baked and ate almost a whole cake every time my parents left for whatever they were doing that evening. My mother couldn’t understand why I was gaining weight and I wasn’t going to tell her. I lost weight before I went to college but was up twenty pounds and down twenty pounds for years.

I’m jumping a large number of years to when I moved to Florida and things began to change. Not right at the beginning but soon after, though I did become a vegetarian the day I set my foot on Florida soil.

I found out I was allergic to certain foods. I pared down what I ate, but how far can you go? I had to have something to eat and began to feel deprived. My menu depended on bread, pasta, pizza – you’ve got the picture. My weight soared to close to one hundred and eighty pounds.

I had to change my lifestyle. I’ll try to tell you the process for recovery I used in my next post. Try because it’s not easy to go through or talk about and took a long time.

A lot of people have food issues. Do you? Let me know, maybe I can help.

An ordinary Woman

I went through some ancient papers and came across this. Check out the emotion behind it not the writing.

What is the worth of a woman

how many horses or cows

Sell her to improve the family status

After all she is only a woman

What is the worth of a woman

If she is not there who will they rape

Who will they pillage and plunder

Who will they turn into whores?

Please tell me your reaction, this was my first real writing. Thanks

Is this the Gateway to Paradise?

Some one thought it was when they took this picture. What do you think? I vote No.