Mother and Daughter

I am writing a memoir of my crazily wonderful life and was just reading through some stuff I wrote a while ago. It was free writing and for me, that brings up topics and ideas I would not normally think of. This time it was – how I will do what I need to do?

Acting had come back into my life and I didn’t know what to think of that. I didn’t believe last night’s meeting was a coincidence. It flowed too well. Not that I think I have the job, but he sure wants me to do it.

Where am I going? I’m confused. Don’t know if I should do this show even if I get it. There’s so much going on right now. All of a sudden I’m not comfortable in my own chair. I won’t say no. I can’t say no. Don’t know why but I’m incapable. I’m hungry. For what? For all life offers. Whatever I can get to do.

Is it driven by the need for applause? Perhaps, but it seems cleaner than that. I love doing all this stuff. Love new challenges. Am open and willing to take them on. Not as willing with some other things. Then I hold back and feel my way.  Sometimes the initial glow has passed and I don’t know if I want to be involved any more.

What do my insides want me to write today? What shall I delve into today? Where do I need to be? To ramble on or let my insides speak? But where do I go, I seem to be all over myself. How do I find a starting place? I close my eyes and listen.

My first thought is love for a mother for her daughter. Strange. Do I doubt my mother loved me? No. I believe she didn’t know how. And for that – I suffered. She wanted the best for me, but it was her best, her way and having no connection with what or who I was or wanted to be. I can understand and forgive that. I was to live as she did. But she was broken. I tried to love her to the best of my ability. I also hated her for what she did.

Does anyone out there have the same feelings? And – would anyone be interested in forming a group of memoir writers to support each other?

Which Voice Do You Use?

and why? Taken from a women’s group.

J Speaks in a slightly stoned speech pattern – level, no highs or lows in speech or speed. Tried to explain thoughts but never sure. Finishes with “it’s hard to explain.”

S very high-pitched, not confident, always questioning, insecure.

C Hight-pitched baby talk (how I talk to my dog).

SD Self-denigrating, mean internally, emotionless.

SA Soothing, appreciative, calm, not patronizing, positive.

P Confident, leader, outgoing, gets others to do things, comfortable.

B Cut and dried, curt, short but not snotty, absorbs everything said without saying much.

SP Pleasant, sponge-like, takes it in, feels out the crowd until comfortable, chit-chats, on the surface.

RV Comfortable pitch/tone/speed, even paced, authentic voice.

ST Short, Monotone, never agrees/disagrees, there and just fine.

Do you use a particular because you think you’re supposed to? What voice do you use and when? Do you like it or not? Want to change it? How do you feel when you use that voice?

Stay tuned in, there’s more to come. And please leave your thoughts in the comment box. Maybe I can help!

A Random Choice

A rose is a rose

And always was a rose

But the theory now goes

that an apple is a rose

And a plum is, and so’s

a pear I suppose.

And God only knows

what will next prove a rose.

You of course are a rose,

but were always a rose.

Robert Frost

Am I a rose?

Are You a Rose?

What do you think the poet is saying?

Rosemary

Usage of rosemary dates back to 500 bc. It was used as a culinary and medicinal herb by the ancient Greeks and Romans. It is an herb, and native to the Mediterranean region. It is now grown worldwide. The leaf and its oil are used to make medicine.

Rosemary is used for improving memory, indigestion, arthritis-related joint pain, hair loss, and other conditions, but there is no good scientific evidence to support most of these uses.

In foods, rosemary is used as a spice. The leaf and oil are used, and the oil is used in beverages. It’s oil is also used for its fragrance in soaps and perfumes.

Although it’s not clear how rosemary works for hair loss, applying it to the scalp irritates the skin and increases blood circulation.

Memory. Taking rosemary by mouth may mildly improve memory in young adults. Using rosemary aromatherapy seems to improve some measures of memory. Rosemary aromatherapy also seems to increase alertness.

Early research shows that taking powdered rosemary leaves might improve memory speed in healthy, older adults. But higher doses seem to worsen memory. Other early research shows that taking a product containing rosemary, lemon balm, and sage improves memory in healthy adults 62 years or younger. But it doesn’t seem to improve memory in adults 63 years or older.

Male-pattern baldness (androgenic alopecia). Early research suggests that applying rosemary oil to the scalp is as effective as minoxidil for increasing hair count in people with male-pattern baldness.

Fatigue. Early research shows that taking rosemary does not improve attention or mental energy in adults with low energy levels.

Low blood pressure. Early research shows that taking rosemary oil three times per day increases the top number in a blood pressure reading (systolic blood pressure) and the bottom number (diastolic blood pressure) in people with low blood pressure. Blood pressure seems to return to pretreatment values once rosemary use is stopped.

Withdrawal from heroin, morphine, and other opioid drugs. Early research suggests that taking rosemary leaves along with methadone, improves opioid withdrawal symptoms.

Stress. Some early research suggests that rosemary and lavender oil aromatherapy may reduce pulse rates, but not blood pressure, in people taking tests. But other research shows that applying rosemary oil to the wrist increases feelings of anxiety and tension during testing.

Patchy hair loss (alopecia areata).

Kidney damage in people with diabetes (diabetic nephropathy).

Fibromyalgia.

A mild form of gum disease (gingivitis).

Osteoarthritis.

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA).

Sunburn.

Cough.

Eczema.

Gas (flatulence).

Gout.

Headache.

High blood pressure.

Increasing menstrual flow.

Indigestion (dyspepsia).

Liver and gallbladder problems.

Toothache.

When taken by mouth: Rosemary is LIKELY SAFE when consumed in amounts found in foods. Rosemary leaf is POSSIBLY SAFE for most people when taken by mouth as a medicine in doses up to 6 grams per day. But taking undiluted rosemary oil or very large amounts of rosemary leaf is LIKELY UNSAFE. Taking large amounts of rosemary can cause vomiting, uterine bleeding, kidney irritation, increased sun sensitivity, skin redness, and allergic reactions.

When applied to the skin: Rosemary oil is POSSIBLY SAFE for most people when applied to the skin for medicinal purposes. It might cause allergic reactions in some people.

When inhaled: Rosemary is POSSIBLY SAFE for most people when inhaled as aromatherapy for medicinal purposes.

Special Precautions & Warnings:

Pregnancy: Rosemary is POSSIBLY UNSAFE when taken by mouth in medicinal amounts. Rosemary might stimulate menstruation or affect the uterus, causing a miscarriage. There isn’t enough reliable information to know if rosemary is safe when applied to the skin when pregnant. Stay on the safe side and avoid use.

Aspirin allergy. Rosemary contains a chemical that is very similar to aspirin. This chemical may cause a reaction in people who are allergic to aspirin.

Bleeding disorders: Rosemary might increase the risk of bleeding and bruising in people with bleeding disorders. Use cautiously.

Do not use for Seizure disorders

Dosing: The following doses have been studied in scientific research:

BY MOUTH: For memory: 500 milligrams of rosemary extract twice daily for one month has been used.

INHALED AS AROMATHERAPY:

For memory: Four drops of pure rosemary essential oil has been applied to an aromatherapy diffuser pad 5 minutes before testing.

Be sure to get in touch with me of you have questions or ideas. I would love to hear from you.

Hello and Welcome. So glad You Are Here.

     

A little about me. I was born in the Bronx, New York City, and have now lived in Florida for about thirty years. I am a mother of three, two adult men and one woman. I am also the  grand-mother of four adults, and now the great-grandmother or Gg as they are trying to learn to call me – of two boys and one girl the third who is will be here soon. Three GG’s in one and a half years!

I have read voraciously since I was a child, and as a singer love the music coming from the flow of the words. I will not go into all the things I did in my life, but writing a book is the last and the hardest. I am now eighty-five years old, soon to be eighty-six and have published my first book, Mountain of Full Moons. I am now seriously working on the memoir of my crazy and amazing life and this part of the story is about my first efforts to become a writer and finding myself through the attempt.  

2/17/17

In school I had no problem writing. The words flowed, except in third grade—and I had no idea I would have such a hard time learning to write a book. Actually it has not been writing, it’s more like trying. Writing seems to have a life of its own. It felt like it glued me to it, almost as if I were depending on writing to make me happy and fix all the problems in my life. The most difficult part for me is getting emotions on the paper. I just can’t get it right and because of that I am all tied up inside and afraid to even begin.

If you ever have questions, answers, ideas about what you would like me to write about, etc., etc. etc. please feel free to put them in as the comment box as we go on. I even accept your view of what you would like me to write about or should shut up about. Free and easy.

Hope you like my dog! She is a rescue and the sweetest animal ever unless I leave anything related to food around. Then it’s time to tear it all up and leave it for me to clean up. But – she had a fun day!

TALK AGAIN SOON.

Why are Chia Seeds Good for Me?

Chia seeds are small but full of important nutrients. They are an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, rich in antioxidants, and provide fiber, iron, and calcium. Omega-3 fatty acids help raise HDL cholesterol, the “good” cholesterol that protects against heart attack and stroke.

  • Chia seeds are a wonderful source of omega-3 fatty acids, fiber, antioxidants, iron, and calcium.
  • A 28-gram or 1-ounce serving of chia seeds also contains 5.6 grams of protein.
  • Mixed with water, they can replace eggs in vegan cooking.
  • Eat Chia seeds cooked or raw, but they need to be added to another food or soaked before eating.
  • Eating one ounce of chia seeds each day would provide 18 percent of daily calcium needs, 27 percent of phosphorus, 30 percent of manganese, and smaller amounts of potassium and copper.
  • Chia seeds provide more omega-3s, calcium, phosphorus, and fiber than flaxseeds. Most people do not consume enough of these essential nutrients.
  • We know that plant-based foods are associated with a reduced risk of many adverse health conditions, including obesitydiabetesheart disease, and overall mortality.
  • They have been shown to support a healthy complexion, increased energy, and overall lower weight.
  • For adults over 50 years of age, the recommendation for men is 28 g per day, and for women, it is 22.4 g per day. Most people consume less than half of that recommendation.
  • The easiest way to increase fiber intake is to eat more plant-based foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and unprocessed grains. Just one ounce of chia seeds provides 10 grams of fiber, almost half the daily recommendation for a woman over 50 years.
  • Based on a review of findings from several large studies, The National Institute of Medicine found that diets with 14 grams of fiber for every 1,000 calories were associated with significant reductions in the risk of both coronary heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Chia seeds are relatively easy to find in any major grocery store. They are black and have a mild, nutty flavor.

Raw, we can sprinkle them on cereal, yogurt, oatmeal, or smoothies. They can also be eaten cooked, added to baked goods like bread and muffins.

In vegan baking, they can replace eggs. To use them as an egg substitute in baking, try mixing 1 tablespoon of chia seeds with 3 tablespoons of water, then let them sit for a few minutes. A gel will form that can be used instead of eggs in baking.

Something New Has Been Added To:

First let me say Thank You to all my wonderful followers. I wish I could meet you all in person.

Second – I’m Baaaacccckkkk and ready to move on. Sorry for the delay but it took me a while to get settled starting again. And I’m still not completely there. I have shifted gears.

I have more than two loves in my life but want to focus on the two most important to me and hopefully Yours. One is Healthy eating and the other is writing.

Healthy Eating will remain as it always has, so many of you love this and I want to help all of you get to your healthy goal.

My second love will be about my experiences trying to write my first book – years ago. I knew nothing about writing a novel and just plowed right in. After all, I did well in school so it should be easy. It’s sad in a way and also funny. I hope I can be helpful to some potential writers people as well.

I will probably continue Random Thoughts when they come to me. I enjoy them.

Hope you enjoy it all as much as I do.

PS:

Please feel free to let me know what’s working and what’s not. I would also like to know what interests you and what you might need help with. There is a box below you can use.

I am here for you and hope to be for a long time.

Irene

Victim?

Do you knowingly or unknowingly play the victim?  Stay quiet when you should speak up. Even with parents, friends, or colleagues at work? Or in retrospect years later when you want to kick yourself. How many times do we say “I wish I had—” said or done this or that? 

The problem is that when you think of yourself as a victim, you become one. Why is that important? It leads to destructive beliefs like everyone is smarter than I am, so I’d better let them make the decisions. I’ll do what they say – they know what I should do, they are better than me. If I depend on them, I can relax and not think about anything. 

In other words you give up and allow others to take control of your life. It may seem like the best thing to do . You are off the hook for everything. But is it? 

You get smaller and smaller instead of bigger and bigger preventing any chance for you to grow. You allow other to choose. You – give – up. 

If you remain a victim you will never take control of your fate or any success you might have because it all belongs to them. Like a child they are in charge of your life.  

We are responsible for ourselves – no one else is.  

Turn it around and choose to find what make you happy. 

Enablement

This is not the usual kind of post I send. However there are so many people out there who have to deal with this problem whether it is from the user or their loved ones. I hope this poem can be of some help to just beginning to tackle addiction.

Should you have an addict friend

Some sage advice I’ll gladly lend:

They’ll plea for poison with all their might,

Keep helping hand far out of sight.

They have a problem they’ll deny,

And your aloofness they’ll decry;

Stay focused but still be their friend,

Contribute not to a sad end.

Addiction’s very hard to break,

So understand a life’s at stake;

Encourage rehab so they might mend,

But enable not or you’re no friend.

Be not judgmental and plainly see

But for God’s good grace could goest ye;

So clearly, plainly understand

Do nor extend an enabling hand.!

What do you think? Buzz·Updated on Jul 26, 2020. Posted on Apr 10, 2014

by Rega Jha BuzzFeed India Contributor and Tommy Wesely BuzzFeed Staff Jen Lewis / Via BuzzFeed

How Privileged Are You? Check off all the statements that apply to you.

I am white.

I have never been discriminated against because of my skin color.

I have never been the only person of my race in a room.

I have never been mocked for my accent.

I have never been told I am attractive “for my race.”

I have never been a victim of violence because of my race.

I have never been called a racial slur.

I have never been told I “sound white.”

A stranger has never asked to touch my hair or asked if it is real.

I am heterosexual.

I have never lied about my sexuality

I never had to “come out.”

I never doubted my parents’ acceptance of my sexuality.

I have never been called “fag.”

I have never been called “dyke.”

I have never been called a “fairy,” or any other derogatory slur for homosexuals.

I have never tried to hide my sexuality.

I am always comfortable with P.D.A. with my partner in public.

I have never pretended to be “just friends” with my significant other.

I have never been ostracized by my religion for my sexual orientation.

I have never been told I would “burn in hell” for my sexual orientation.

I have never been told that my sexuality is “just a phase.”

I have never been violently threatened because of my sexuality.

I am a man.

I feel comfortable in the gender I was born as.

I still identify as the gender I was born in.

I have never tried to change my gender.

I have never been denied an opportunity because of my gender.

I make more money than my professional counterparts of a different gender.

I have never felt unsafe because of my gender.

I have never been catcalled.

I have never been sexually harassed or assaulted.

I have never been raped.

I work in a salaried job.

My family and I have never lived below the poverty line.

I don’t have any student loans.

I have never gone to bed hungry.

I have never been homeless.

My parents pay some of my bills.

My parents pay all of my bills.

I don’t rely on public transportation.

I buy new clothes at least once a month.

I have never done my taxes myself.

I have never felt poor.

I have never had to worry about making rent.

I have never worked as a waiter, barista, bartender, or salesperson.

I have had an unpaid internship.

I have had multiple unpaid internships.

I went to summer camp.

I went to private school.

I graduated high school.

I went to an elite college.

I graduated college.

My parents paid (at least some of) my tuition.

I had a car in high school.

I’ve never had a roommate.

I’ve always had cable.

I have traveled internationally.

I travel internationally at least once a year.

I studied abroad.

I’ve never skipped a meal to save money.

I don’t know what “Sallie Mae” is.

I spent Spring Breaks abroad.

I have frequent flier miles.

My parents are heterosexual.

My parents are both alive.

My parents are still married.

I do not have any physical disabilities.

I do not have any social disabilities.

I do not have any learning disabilities.

I have never had an eating disorder.

I have never been depressed.

I have never considered suicide.

I have never attempted suicide.

I have never taken medication for my mental health.

I can afford medication if/when I need it.

I have never been told I’m overweight or “too skinny.”

I have never felt overweight or underweight or “too skinny.”

I have never been shamed for my body type.

I consider myself to be physically attractive.

I can afford a therapist.

I’ve used prescription drugs recreationally.

I have never had an addiction.

I have never been shamed for my religious beliefs.

I have never been violently threatened for my religious beliefs.

I have never been violently attacked for my religious beliefs.

There is a place of worship for my religion in my town.

I have never lied about my ethnicity as self-defense.

I have never lied about my religion as self-defense.

All my jobs have been accommodating of my religious practices.

I am not nervous in airport security lines.

I have never heard this statement: “You have been randomly selected for secondary passport control.”

I have never been called a terrorist.

Nobody has ever tried to “save” me for my religious beliefs.

I have never been cyber-bullied for any of my identities.

I was not bullied as a child for any of my identities.

I have never tried to distance myself from any of my identities.

I have never been self-conscious about any of my identities.

I have never questioned any of my identities.

I feel privileged because of the identities I was born with.

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