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Am I an Orphan?

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I am sad that boy I told you about was just a visitor. I never got to meet him. I know we could have been friends. At least. If we could have met maybe he would want to marry me. But it never happened. I am almost thirteen seasons of growth and should have been married way before now.

Aren’t parents supposed to help and teach? That’s was other kid’s talk about. Am I an orphan? Did my parents find me somewhere and bring me to their hut? I am separate from them, don’t think about them the same way as the other kids.

Or is it just that I am a bad girl and they can’t stand me. Want me to go away. Maybe permanently. I do the best I can but it is never enough.

Do you ever feel that way? I know they are busy and work hard. I understand that there is little time in the day to do anything else and there is no day of rest. But surely there are a few minutes to talk – maybe at mealtime – but it never happens. Maybe they are just too tired.

I must learn to accept things as they are. I cannot change them. So I must change. I do not know how but I will figure it out. The Council of Elders is tired of hearing my parent’s complaints about me. I must be more careful or I will have to go in front of them and receive a punishment again.

Life here is hard. Hard for adults and hard for kids. But I will survive. I will change and find a way. I must. I do not want to be a constant complainer. No one likes that. And neither do I.

I will work figure it out on the morrow. I will. I promise.

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