Too Tired To Go On.
I am tired. Young and tired like an old bent-over woman. Life is hard and I don’t know if I want to go on. There is not one thing in my future that will bring happiness. It’s the same thing day after day. Will it change? When will I wake up and welcome the sun?
Everyone works hard. But there are other families who smile and laugh. I don’t remember the last time I did. Is it me? Is something wrong with me? Is it a sickness?
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to go on and on, but I have no one to talk to but you. Can you help? Do you know what is wrong? I really do not want to be this way, be miserable all the time. I know I will go on but how long can I keep doing this?
It is too dangerous to leave my tribe and have no one. Out in the wilderness, it can be scary. There are wild animals and bandits who rape, rob and kill. It is possible that I will not survive. And I have nowhere to go. No family or friends to welcome me.
Can I figure out a way to feel better? I want to but do not know how. All I can hope is that it will get better. I must do something, try to find a way to make it better. To laugh and play again like a child even though it can only live inside me. They do not have to know how I feel. I will try. I promise you I will try.