Who Is God?
My parents said it out loud, “I don’t believe in God.” I never heard that word before. Not even in the synagogue, I was once taken to when I was six where they spoke in a different language. Females had to walk up steep steps to a room where we sat and listened while the men downstairs did the praying. I was bored and wanted to be where things were happening – with the men. It was not fair and I was angry.
I don’t know if my parents always felt that way or if it was because of WW2 and the Holocaust. They decided that there couldn’t be a God because he never would have allowed it to happen, or if God was real, he was horrible for allowing six million Jews to die.
I sang a song by Richard Strauss in a concert. My Dad rushed over to me and was furious. “How can you sing that. Strauss supported Hitler”.
“Why is that important, it was twenty-five years ago. Music is about the beauty and emotion of the song, not who wrote it,” I said. His face turned red and he walked away.
Spirituality is another thing that was not spoken of as if it tainted religion. It was laughed at, derided, ridiculous, stupid and any term that fits. That idea is still so strong in me that it’s taken a whole year for me to be brave enough to pen this on my blog.
It tuned out that spirituality was a great part of my life. It happened slowly at first, creeping in unasked, and turned out to be the way for me, my path and I will forever be grateful for its gentle insistence.